Husband: ‘When you look at me like this I am afraid of you..’
Me: ‘WHAT? Afraid?? OF COURSE YOU ARE NOT!!!’
Husband: ‘All right, all right, I am not afraid – just don’t hurt me!’
Category: marriage
Authentic
In a (Gazelle) bike shop in Antwerp, Belgium.
My husband (to the shop assistant): ‘I would like a bike for myself – what do you recommend?’
Shop assistant: ‘Now, that I look at you, the Heavy Duty model for sure.’
My husband: ‘Heavy Duty – very authentic. Describes my whole existence. Let’s find a bike to my wife, too. Do you have also models like ‘Easy Life’?’
Chuck
Me (to my husband, leaving the restaurant): ‘Aren’t you cold?’
He: ‘Of course not! It’s because I am a Very Tough Guy.’
Me: ‘I see. Shall we call a taxi home or rather walk?’
He: ‘Uhh, rather taxi, no walk.’
Me: ‘Pardon? Didn’t you say you were a Very Tough Guy?’
He: ‘Eeeehmmm.. of course I am. Only I feel sorry for the pavement..’
Italian
A regular Sunday evening home – each member of our family communicating in his/her own temper.
Me (exhausted): ‘I’ve been suspecting for a while that our children have inherited some secret Italian genes..’
My husband: ‘I would love to talk to you about it only I cannot hear what you’re saying..’
