
The Fastest Way to Start the Day (do-not-try-this-at-home version)

Last night, visiting the children’s room to check if everything is peaceful. Well, Walter, our son (10), isn’t. He cannot get to sleep.
Walter: ‘I need to ask something. What if our shower once breaks down?’
Me (not a bit raising my eyebrows that this is an issue that we need to address at 21.30 without further delay):
‘It won’t. Our bathroom is new, together with the shower – all accessories in excellent health.’
Walter (not less concerned): ‘But once it does break down when I am a grandpa – what shall I do then?’
Me: ‘You are the planning type, right?’
Walter: ‘…or when you and papa are already dead – who shall I turn to??’
Me: ‘Okay-okay, I get it now. I promise that before I die, I will draft you a list with the most crucial phone numbers.’
Walter (with extra portion relief in his voice): ‘Very good. Thanks. I love you, mom.’
Me: ‘I love you, too.’
And with this, he fell asleep.
I have just received a letter with an invoice from the PATHOLOGY department of a hospital.
The pathology department warmly welcomes me, reassuring they are utmost delighted that they can greet me among their new clients.
Later the letter describes that it is about the laboratory test I had some weeks ago, which (apparently) goes to pathology to evaluate the results.
I sincerely hope that Pathology being the receiving institution is part of the Standard Operating Procedure, rather than the outcome of an accurate customer segmentation based on my test results.
Dear Mr(Ms) Bicycle Thief,
You were so kind to have very recently visited us – more specifically my vehicle parking on the street in front of my home.
You could eventually not steal it, still you managed to break a piece in the lock, due to which I cannot use it either.
As for the ethical and moral aspects of your profession, I would rather not touch upon that topic now, as I am afraid we have a significantly differing standpoint in this regard.
Nevertheless, I would like to share with you some objective observations regarding your activity:
All professions have some basic requirements – some fundamental criteria if you want to make a successful career in it – and yours is not an exception.
In case you next time consider to borrow a bicycle that happens to belong to somebody else, and thus you do not have the necessary keys to the vehicle, you might want to resolve this situation with your own mechanical devices – which may or may not be proper for this act.
Therefore, before next time you take action, you might want to assess the situation first whether you are technically equipped to successfully engage in the activity of stealing.
You need to know that for bicycles above a certain value there are safety measures built in the construction itself these days, which makes it somewhat longer to complete the action of stealing… in case you have the necessary equipment AND the sufficient professional experience – the above being conjunctive conditions.
Therefore, before taking a next action tonight, I recommend you to do the below Quick Self-Test in order to properly judge the Adequacy of your Criminal Capacities:
Questions related to the objects you use:
1.) ‘Do I have the proper devices?’
including (but not limited to)
a.) Do I have them from a reliable source’ (e.g. whether I have purchased – sorry, stole – them from a top criminal, or somebody lower rated in my industry)
b.) Do I regularly upgrade my equipment to be aligned with the latest technological developments in my profession (e.g. fit to open new generation bike locks, fit to cut the latest chain types..)
Questions related to your person:
2.) Do I have sufficient years of experience in my chosen business line?
3.) Am I fit to get engaged in the planned specific activity?
a.) Am I handy, in general?
b.) Do I regularly keep my knowledge up-to-date? (e.g. follow up professional literature, attend conferences, meet-ups on the newest trends in modus operandi..)
4.) Do I have good professional reputation amongst my peers? (e.g. am I considered a role model for upcoming professionals).
In case – and only in case – your answer is a ‘yes’ to all above questions, should you invest your valuable time in trying to steal a vehicle.
Otherwise it becomes a ‘lose-lose’ situation, perfectly pointless for all impacted stakeholders.
Thank you for considering the above.
Today I had a lot of work and did not have the time to go for a coffee.
So I decided to grab one from our cafeteria during late afternoon.
I know the cafeteria closes at 5PM, however the Coffee Lady closes the coffee machines a few minutes earlier in order to be able to leave at 5PM sharp.
Last week I experienced she closed already at 4.55PM, so today I decided to appear in the cafeteria earlier: at 4.48PM.
Me: ‘A coffee latte, please.’
She: ‘Sorry, I have already closed the coffee machines.’
Me: ‘When do you actually close??’
She: ‘At 5PM. But I close the coffee machines already 10 minutes before.’
Me: ‘It’s great news as it is exactly 4.48PM.
So, a coffee latte, please..’
She (giving a sad smile): ‘Unfortunately I cannot, because in order to be able to close the coffee machines at 4.50, it’s more careful if I stop selling coffee already a few minutes before..’
Me: ‘Did you still sell coffee at 3PM today?’
She: ‘Yes, of course!’
Me: ‘I am not sure it was sufficiently careful as it was only 1 hour 48 minutes before you need to stop selling coffee, in order to close the coffee machines 10 minutes before, in order to close the cafeteria at 5PM..’
Moral: There IS such a level of prudence when even Compliance says it is overdone..
Each and every year it is the citizens of Antwerp who can decide which TOP12 ideas to spend the 10% of the city budget (EUR 1.4m) on.
This year one of the winning initiatives was ‘Let’s make the streets greener’ – and you really can’t accuse people of the lack of enthusiasm..
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Anélkül, hogy telezsúfolnám e sorokat részletekkel: Antwerpen város költségvetésének 10%-áról (EUR 1.4m) minden évben a helyi lakosok dönthetnek: milyen 12 legfontosabb dologra költsön a városvezetés, és mennyit.
Idén előkelő helyen futott be a “Növeljük a városi zöldterület arányát” gondolat – és a lakosság igazán nem vádolható a lelkesedés hiányával..
I am happy to have found this picture on LinkedIn yesterday – it seems to give a great additional argument on gender equality:
It could provide men with an extra opportunity to prove their loyalty – when their wife still has nothing.. 😉
One evening we are returning from the beach.
My children are quarrelling with each other – just like usual: it has been a long day, and they are cold.
But then they realise: we have a blanket with us!
One.
And with this, we have found the basic recipe for world-peace: fewer blankets than freezing angry people.
Things are usually more simple than they might seem.
My son, Walter (9) in the morning is preparing for his school trip:
His sister, Noëmi (13): ‘Walter, I will miss you, take care of yourself, you are such a cute little boy!!’
Walter (totally upset): ‘I AM NOT A CUTE LITTLE BOY, I AM A BIG BOY!!!!’
And off he goes – with the below accessories:
My daughter (13) has recently received braces on her teeth.
She could choose between many different colours, finally ending up with a pink set.
The dentist, a lady in her 50s, gave her a big smile and confirmed that she could totally understand the colour choice, being ‘nicely girlish’.
My daughter listened to her politely, eventually remarking:
‘It could be also a reason for my choice.
..But actually, this is the shade of colour that best matches the anti-theft alert app that I installed on my smartphone a while ago, and use as a Wallpaper ever since.’
Never judge a book by its colour – nor a generation Z female by her braces colour.
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Noémi (13) a napokban fogszabályzót kapott.
Rengeteg színből választhatott – végül a rózsaszín mellett döntött.
A fogász, egy 50 körüli hölgy, mindezt széles (és hibátlan) mosollyal nyugtázta, és biztosította lányom, hogy teljességgel megérti döntését, mert “a rózsaszín az olyan aranyosan lányos”.
Lányom udvariasan végighallgatta, majd a kedvesen megjegyezte, hogy akár ez is lehetne döntése alapja, bár ő történetesen azért ezt a színt választotta, mivel árnyalatban ez passzol leginkább ahhoz a lopásgátló app-hez, amit a napokban installált, és amit screen-saver azóta is használ az iPhone-ján.
Ne ítélj meg egy könyvet a borítója – egy tinédzser lányt pedig a fogszabályzó színe alapján.
Recent studies show that no matter how they originally looked like when they first met, people forming a family together after a while begin to more and more take after each other.
Just seen this beauty of street art: a knitted coat made for a traffic sign post….
…. in order to introduce a pay parking area….
Life is just cruel.
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Kötött kabátka a közlekedési tábla oszlopán…
…. fizetős parkoló-zóna kezdetét jelölve.
Az élet kegyetlen.
– Hungarian follows –
#littlethingsinlife
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A Kétfarkú Kutya Párt belga leányvállalata