Me (to my daughter): ‘Noëmi, what are you doing?’
i hear my children talk this morning:
Walter (10): ‘Noëmi, I don’t know what happened, my mobile phone won’t work – can you fix it, please?’
Noëmi (14): ‘Ok, let me see… ready, here you are. It was quite simple – even mama would have been able to fix it. So may I ask you to next time check with her first, and only if there is a real tech problem, come to me?’
I’ve asked my children to ‘instead of chatting please pay attention to your dinner’.
Grandma: ‘Noëmi, and what do you consider yourself: Hungarian or Flemish?’
Noëmi (13): ‘Human.’
Grandma: ‘OK-OK, but you must belong to some group. It is not good to be on your own, lonely in the world..’
Noëmi: ‘No big problems with being only a human, either. Here, on planet Earth, there are some lurking around..’
School yard, long break.
One of the teachers (dragging a sobbing 5-year old along to my daughter):
‘Noëmi, Tim says you have just called him an Exceptionally Wicked Child.’
My daughter (13): ‘Correct.’
Teacher: ‘May I ask you not to call him this name any more? You can see it hurts him a lot, he is crying.’
My daughter: ‘Tim hit my little brother a few minutes ago so hard from behind that Walter is still in pain.
If somebody is an Exceptionally Wicked Child, I think it is fair to call hem an ‘Exceptionally Wicked Child’.’
Teacher: ‘I understand now – still, could you please find another solution?’
My daughter: ‘Well, OK. Since this level of wickedness is really exceptional and does not occur very frequently in our school, in the future I will call him ‘Limited Edition’.’
Our daughter (13) coming home, changing clothes in the hall, meaning dragging her shorts off through her boots.
She (quickly looking at my face while I am watching the heroic struggle):
‘Mom, I know you have difficult moments right now, and I want you to know how proud I am of you that you do not say a word…and that you keep it this way..’
I am watching a TV program about how Roquefort is made. Our son (10) joins in.
He: ‘What are they doing?’
He: ‘Oh, Cheeses Christ!’
Me (to my 13-yr-old daughter): ‘Can you remind me, please, what the Dutch verb ‘verwennen’ means? I forgot..’
She: ‘It means e.g. when parents pamper their children, do everything for them..’
Me: ‘Ah, now I start to understand. But ‘pamper/do everything for them’ – you mean in the positive or negative sense?’
She: ‘From whose perspective?’
Our little son: ‘Mama, do you think in 3016 I will still live in this house?’
Rotterdam, family trip into a museum of modern arts.
My son (10) (within 15 mins): ‘Can’t we by chance visit a museum, where the exhibited objects more resemble the labels next to them?’
We have an acquaintance – a kind lady in her 60s, she leads a very sporty life, and cares about her appearance in every respect – of which she is rather proud.
At this moment she is trying to chitchat with our little son.
Sporty Lady (sending an encouraging smile): ‘And, Walter, can you guess how old I am?’
Walter (carefully studying her before giving an answer): ’80?’
Walter is a charmeur.
Me (to my 13-yr-old daughter):
‘Didn’t we agree on that you would be busy with maths this afternoon?’
She: ‘Depends on how you define ‘maths’. I am working on squared paper..’
Always define them accurately.
Our daughter, Noëmi (13), this morning travels to Amsterdam, NL, with her music school class to watch a famous musical. The children need to be delivered to the school bus by 10 o’clock (the meeting place is located 15 min from our home by bike).
Now you need to know that Noëmi is not that nervous type.
9.22 – She has already put on one of her socks
9.28 – And now the other one
9.34 – ..Pardon, it was too early to be so self-confident. True, she has started to put on her other sock – which process was then dramatically interrupted by other Activities of Higher Priority, such as an incoming chat message, the patterns on her socks, remembering a funny story having happened 3.5 years ago, a piece of interesting-shape dust on the ceiling..
9.40 – She finally starts to have breakfast
9.44 – ..No, correction: it’s more accurate to say that ‘she sat down next to her plate’.
I, like some high-ranking military training instructor, give her reminders ranging tone from the ‘soft & friendly’ to the ‘loud & powerful’ in all imaginable styles and genres.
My daughter in the meanwhile is kindly asking about my workplace, how things go there, and is giving me some coaching wherever she feels it imperative. She seems to be ready not only to consume her 2-course breakfast within the remaining 35 seconds, but also to address all issues of her mother’s employer.
9.49 – She starts to brush teeth.
We, parents, encourage her tooth-by-tooth.
9.52 – She gets enthusiastic:
‘Mama, papa, this school trip will be such an exciting experience!!’
My husband (in a somber tone):
’My Dearest Daughter, apart from you for all other family members already your leaving home is rather an exciting experience.’
Ps 1: The label on her T-shirt is a summary of her CV.
Ps 2: From among experiencing the above and reporting about it in my blog, it was the latter one being the more fun.
My daughter (13) – ‘dressed to the weekly laundry’ she claims..
Our daughter (13) to her young brother:
‘OF COURSE I did not lose it – I just can’t remember momentarily where I put it.
– Noëmi, a Belgian-Hungarian teenager, 2 seconds before leaving to school this morning, patiently explaining to her mama the location of her bike key.
Our daughter (13): ‘Papa, would you take a photo of me with your mobile phone, so I can see how these trousers look on me?’
My husband: ‘Let me guess: the battery of the mirror is flat again..’
My husband (during morning preparations): ‘Noëmi, go down please to the living room, but first dress up all by yourself, and then have something for breakfast which is not biscuits, but preferably something healthy.’
Noëmi (13) turning her eyes towards the ceiling in despair): ‘So many unpleasant news, and the day has just started..’
Last night, visiting the children’s room to check if everything is peaceful. Well, Walter, our son (10), isn’t. He cannot get to sleep.
Walter: ‘I need to ask something. What if our shower once breaks down?’
Me (not a bit raising my eyebrows that this is an issue that we need to address at 21.30 without further delay):
‘It won’t. Our bathroom is new, together with the shower – all accessories in excellent health.’
Walter (not less concerned): ‘But once it does break down when I am a grandpa – what shall I do then?’
Me: ‘You are the planning type, right?’
Walter: ‘…or when you and papa are already dead – who shall I turn to??’
Me: ‘Okay-okay, I get it now. I promise that before I die, I will draft you a list with the most crucial phone numbers.’
Walter (with extra portion relief in his voice): ‘Very good. Thanks. I love you, mom.’
Me: ‘I love you, too.’
And with this, he fell asleep.
My son (10): ‘Mama, what did you say once again the reason was that you took MY chocolate lollipop?’
Me: ‘It’s because I love you too much. I cannot simply let all that chocolate harm your teeth.’
Walter: ‘I just can’t wait to grow up. I.will.be.a.very.caring.papa.’
One evening we are returning from the beach.
My children are quarrelling with each other – just like usual: it has been a long day, and they are cold.
But then they realise: we have a blanket with us!
And with this, we have found the basic recipe for world-peace: fewer blankets than freezing angry people.
Things are usually more simple than they might seem.
‘Mama, I can see you are busy reading, and you have told me it’s a great book.
So I prepared you some dinner as you need to eat something after all: salmon sushi with soya sauce and a little wasabi. I’ve brought it up to you so you don’t need to come down and stop reading.’
Walter, 9 years old.
“Anya, látom, elmélyülten olvasol, mondtad, hogy nagyon érdekes a könyv.
Készítettem neked vacsorát, mert azért enned csak kell valamit: lazac sushi, kis szója szósszal és egy kevés wazabival. Felhoztam, hogy ne kelljen lejönnöd érte.”
Walter, 9 éves.
My daughter (13): ‘Mama, wow, in this outfit you look like a teen!!’
Me: ‘Oh, you are so kind..’
My son (9): ‘What is a ‘teen’?’
My daughter: ‘Somebody, who compared to you, is very, very old ..’
Innovation idea: free Parental Control App.
When you visit huge places where the risk is high that your child may get lost, in order to easily find her back all you need is to install this app which will show you the map of the building with detailed information on the location of the electric outlets.
The 2.0 version of the same app will add the map of the best Public WiFi Hotspots of the same building.
Innovációs javaslat: ingyenes Szülői Felügyeleti app.
My daughter (13) has recently received braces on her teeth.
She could choose between many different colours, finally ending up with a pink set.
The dentist, a lady in her 50s, gave her a big smile and confirmed that she could totally understand the colour choice, being ‘nicely girlish’.
My daughter listened to her politely, eventually remarking:
‘It could be also a reason for my choice.
..But actually, this is the shade of colour that best matches the anti-theft alert app that I installed on my smartphone a while ago, and use as a Wallpaper ever since.’
Never judge a book by its colour – nor a generation Z female by her braces colour.
Noémi (13) a napokban fogszabályzót kapott.
Rengeteg színből választhatott – végül a rózsaszín mellett döntött.
A fogász, egy 50 körüli hölgy, mindezt széles (és hibátlan) mosollyal nyugtázta, és biztosította lányom, hogy teljességgel megérti döntését, mert “a rózsaszín az olyan aranyosan lányos”.
Lányom udvariasan végighallgatta, majd a kedvesen megjegyezte, hogy akár ez is lehetne döntése alapja, bár ő történetesen azért ezt a színt választotta, mivel árnyalatban ez passzol leginkább ahhoz a lopásgátló app-hez, amit a napokban installált, és amit screen-saver azóta is használ az iPhone-ján.
Ne ítélj meg egy könyvet a borítója – egy tinédzser lányt pedig a fogszabályzó színe alapján.
Recently at Eindhoven airport my son’s (9) transparent blue pistol – that shoots out pingpong balls – got confiscated (together with ammunition) as ‘object prone for threats’.
The attached photo demonstrates the incriminated weapon, together with the utmost radical and violent (now however a little droopy) underaged international terrorist.
For me, a lawyer, it is also a heartwarming experience whenever we obey not only the letter, but also the spirit of the law, as I am convinced that thanks to the vigilance of the security personnel, after these measures all passengers could proceed to their destinations with a considerably higher level of safety.
Just seen this photo on the internet.
I asked my family members to interpret the picture:
My older child (13 – a Generation Z teenager..): “The 2 birds are fighting for food!”
Then I asked her little brother (9): “They are sharing food/ feeding each other..”.
Asked myself, a lawyer: “It’s what we call a ‘joint possession’..”
Asked my husband, an engineer: “The fish is too big, the birds are trying to cut it into two.”
Whatever the interpretation is, it would most probably not be the right moment to run a satisfaction survey on the fish, as the client.