I somehow manage to find 1 piece of strawberry in the wild bushes at the back of our garden.
My husband: ‘OK, here is what we are going to do: you quit from work on Monday right in the morning. Time to be a career farmer!!’
Author: PirosAntwerp
I am Hungarian living in Antwerp, Belgium.
Having landed in my blog might mean that you are interested in topics like Family, Work, or Travelling Abroad, and if you indeed want to know more about those topics, please do visit some real blogs, due to the fact that I also write about family, travel, work, etc, however the common element of those posts being that you will for sure not find them useful, in any sense.
You will meet recurring characters, such as my daughter (2006), my son (2009), my husband, and some others (grandmas, neighbours, teachers, colleagues..) who are all very nice people, so appearing in my stories is not at all their fault..
Wanna more photos? In that case pirosbelgium (Instagram) might be the place..
De gustibus non est disputandum..
Our son (11) this morning, utmost excited:
‘Imagine, today starts the test week in school!!! For a whole week we will write 2 tests every day!! Finally!!! And we start with 2 maths tests today!! It’s a beautiful day!!!’
Our daughter (15), looking at her brother like NASA scientists study a UFO:
‘OK, you’ve got me here: about this nothing funny comes into my mind..’
SHATTERED dreams
I am playing chess with our son, Walter (11) who’s been member of the local chess club for a couple of years now.
His papa is walking by. He stops, looking interested.
Husband: ‘What is happening here precisely?’
Walter: ‘Playing chess with mama. She is a superb player, we’ve been fighting for half an hour at least!’
Husband: ‘Walter, your mama cannot play chess.’
Walter: ‘Of curse she can! What smart steps! And her strategy is amazing!’
Husband (in resignation): ‘It’s not only the name of the pieces she is not aware of but also how much one can move in which direction.’
Me (crushed, with eyes downcast): ‘Walter, what papa says is perfectly true.’
Walter: ‘But how come then that you play so terrifically good??’
Me: ‘I’ve just copied your movements. Each and every one of them.’
Walter: ‘So the past 30 minutes I’ve been amazed by my own chess knowledge?’
Me: ‘Sort of.’
The hard life of an average Belgian child
Me (to my son): ‘And how was your school bike exam?’
He (11 years): ‘It was terribly difficult.’
Me: ‘How come? You bike pretty well I thought.’
He: ‘That’s what I thought, too. But then it turned out that during the exam we weren’t allowed neither to stand on the bike nor to steer it with 1 hand or no hands – and so I was so bored I was watching the landscape left and right and almost hit another bike in front of me. Haven’t the organisers ever heard about ‘road safety’ for God’s sake??’
#nofilter
Too many questions
Me to my son: ‘Walter, would you join us for dinner, pls?’
He (11): ‘Cannot, unfortunately. I am drawing miniature toilets.’
Me: ‘Pardon? Why exactly?’
My husband: ‘So that if we are visited by miniature people they can also take a pee – don’t be so difficult, for God’s sake..’
Immigrant families – daily routine
Our children returning home giggling-excited:
Walter (11): ‘Imagine, we went to a shop with Noëmi pretending we didn’t speak Dutch – it was sooo much fun!!’
My husband: ‘Interesting, with mama we always try to do just the opposite. Not less entertaining.’
Good news
My children in a dialogue:
She (15): ‘Walter!!! You’ve eaten up my chocolate!!! I can’t believe it, you don’t even like white chocolate!!!’
He (11): ‘True. It did take some time to convince myself to eat it up, believe me. But when I started I realised it has also brown parts!! Anyway, you should be happy to learn that your brother is not racist..’
The Terrible Pain & Torture of Multilingual Families
Our daughter (15) is about to decide on the studies she wants to follow next year out of the 5 directions offered by the school.
She: ‘What I am sure about is that I don’t want to study ‘languages’. Languages are simply not for me..’
Me: ‘I am interested to learn this given that you currently speak 3 languages and learn a 4th one at school..’
She: ‘Ah, you mean THOSE languages? They are just in me but I didn’t need to LEARN them for God’s sake..’
Clear now
We are taking a walk with my daughter, passing by a greengrocer’s.
Me: ‘I don’t stop wondering when I see such a long vegetable stand.. the owner cannot even see the end from the shop..’
She (15): ‘Typical parent-thinking. Who on Earth would want to steal anything that is so healthy???’
Same logics
While biking in Belgium:
‘Here starts the sea. Please, don’t throw anything in it.’
I could apply the same logics to some other things in life..
This image is no longer available
Our daughter (15) to us: ‘Do you happen to have a hair tie here anybody? ..Papa?’
My husband: ‘My dearest daughter. Considering my own hair your mere question I can only take as a token of your unlimited trust towards your father – in any other cases it would be the Ultimate Symptom of some Severe Eye Disorder.’
Where is…
Today was THE ideal day-off for me.
Look for the binoculars
That explains it all
Photo taken just now during my casual walk.
I start to understand why some people call expecting a baby an ‘accident’.
#weekendgoals
Only noon on Saturday and already out of bed!
Achievements at their best.
I think I get it
Our son (11) brings home his school report.
He: ‘To sum it up, I have received top scores from basically all subjects, except for free discussion,from which I got a 3 on a scale of 5.’
Me: ‘How come?’
He: ‘Some of my classmates receive better scores, but they talk about all kinds of pointless blabla, while I only speak when I have something to say.’
Me: ‘But when is this class? Morning or during the day? And what are the topics? And you have to prepare? And..’
He: ‘I have said everything about this subject.’
Me: ‘Ok, I think I get it.’
Compliment
Me (to my daughter): ‘Noëmi, you are so beautiful.’
Noëmi (15): ‘No way. No. Not at all.’
My husband joining us: ‘What’s the topic?’
Noëmi: ‘Nothing special. Mama is complimenting on her own genes.’
Mankind
This morning:
Our daughter (15): ‘Papa, do we have anything delicious for breakfast?’
Papa: ‘Don’t know. Let’s go down the kitchen to prepare something, call your brother, too.’
She (to her bro): ‘Walter, watch out, escape, run for your life, I got caught, but you might still have a better life waiting for you somewhere else….!’
She’s turned 15 today.
Only 15 and she is already constantly busy with the welfare of mankind!
My girl.
Rigour
Me: ‘What are you up to?’
My husband: ‘Oh just prepared some breakfast for the children: home made waffle, whipped cream, and some fresh fruit on the side.’
Me: ‘I see…. And where are you carrying those plates now?’
My husband: ‘Upstairs in their room, of course. Brunch in bed. I cannot expect them after all to descend to the dining room even on their school holiday week!!’
Very true.
Even the rigour of a father has its limits.
Winnetou in action
Leaves little
…to your imagination.
Best mom ever
My daughter (14 – storming in the room where I am reading): ‘Now I am coming and disturb you!!’
Me: ‘And how are you planning to do that?’
She: ‘So that I’m here and not letting you read!!’
Me: ‘You are my daughter, I am happy any time to see you and talk to you.’
She: ‘Mamaaaaa – can’t you just normally play this game??’
Me: ‘Ah, I am awfully sorry… ok, have you visited your bother yet?’
She: ‘You are a genius! The best mama on Earth!!’
Huge difference
‘OF COURSE I did not lose it – I just can’t remember momentarily where I put it.
Huge difference.’
– Our daughter (14), 2 seconds before leaving to school this morning, patiently explaining to her mama the location of her bike key.
How lucky
Our son (11), for his school homework, is asking his papa about which language we actually speak at home.
My husband: ‘Well, you see.. I think what we speak at home is poor Hungarian, incorrect Dutch and low level English..’
Our son: ‘I am starting to be happy I learn French at school..’
Careful
My son (11): ‘Oei, mamaaaaa!! I’ve strained my leg!!! It hurts now..’
Me: ‘Walter, a sportsman refrains from sudden movements. Next time you decide to chase your sister in the house, remember to warm up..’
Big difference
Me to our little son: ‘Walter, please go upstairs to the bathroom and brush teeth.’
He: ‘But mama, you know that nowadays I’m afraid upstairs alone… But that doesn’t mean I am a scared little baby!!!!!
I am a scared Big Boy.’
How things go
Our daughter (14): ‘Papa!!! A spider!!!! Get it out of here!!!!’
My husband: ‘Relax, Sweetie, 1 little spider sitting peacefully in the corner..’
Our daughter: ‘Yes, 1…. FOR THE MOMENT! Then it gets married, will have babies and live here happily, all of them, more and more!! Papa, I am a teenager, I exactly know how these things go, all right?’
Ambition
Just found a school report of my daughter (now 14 ys, back then she was 10). Children need to sign the reports here, too.
Well, her signature was apparently the combination of a comet and a magic wand.
I like people with ambition.
Easy
In a bike shop in Belgium.
My husband to the shop assistant: ‘I would like a bike for myself – what do you recommend?’
Shop assistant: ‘Now, that I look at you, the model called ‘Heavy Duty’ for sure.’
My husband: ‘Heavy Duty – very authentic. Describes my whole existence. ..Let’s find a bike to my wife, too. Do you have also models like ‘Easy Life’?’
Just asking
My son (11) years heading home from school:
He (in a colloquial tone):
‘Mama.. in prison they give food to prisoners, right?’
Me:
‘Walter, is there by chance anything that happened in school and we I should know of..?’
Too
I am 45 ys old. Last week I hear two classmates of my son (11) talking about me behind my back.
Classmate1: I think Walter’s mama is 20-something years old..
Me (in myself): : )))))))))))
Classmate2: Uhhh, THAT old???
Me: : ((((((((
Quite right
Me to my 11-yr old son: ‘What do you think the major difference is between you growing up here in Belgium – as opposed to if you were living in Hungary?’
Walter: ‘Now I can ask in four languages where the toilet is.’
Most pragmatic.
Make a wish
Our daughter (14) in the kitchen:
‘Oh I would like so much to eat some fresh herring now… Let’s see the fridge… OMG!! Papa has bought me some!!!!’
My husband: “A fish come true..”
Not the same
My daughter (14): ‘My favourite movie genre is horror!’
Me: ‘But why? Who on earth likes to be terrified?’
She: ‘Me, for example.’
Me: ‘Well, how come then that yesterday when we found that ugly big spider in the living room, you claimed we should move to another house immediately? You did not seem to be enjoying horror.’
She: ‘It’s simple. The genre of the Ugly Big Spider is not horror. It’s Nat Geo.’
Autocratic
My most favourite spare time activity is to manually correct the mistakes made by my mobile’s autocorrect function – a function that was designed to enable me spare time while writing.
Knowledge sharing
Me to our 10-yr-old son: ‘Walter, could you please put your plate in the dishwasher after dinner? Don’t just place it on the counter, if I may ask.’
He: ‘How could you see it??? You are not even looking this direction!!’
Me: ‘You know, mothers have eyes on the sides as well..’
My husband: ‘Just like hammerhead sharks.’
Me (with moderate warmth in my voice): ‘Would you like to add something?’
My husband: ‘I just thought.. in order to make the link with natural sciences… or maybe not..’
Viva la revolution
My husband to our 10-yr-old son:
‘Walter, would you like to come and see how I make pancake? In case in the future you would also end up with a lazy daughter & wife in your family who you would need to cook for.. But don’t forget son, in this family we are still working hard on getting equal rights for boys..’
Walter: ‘Uh you are making pancakes?? Can I also get some? Don’t have time now, still playing on my mobile…’
My husband: ‘…Where was I? Ah yes, at the equal-right-for-papas movement..’
Natural
Our daughter (14): ‘Papa, we must go shopping NOW! I need nude make-up.’
My husband: ‘Nude make-up. What.is.that..’
She: ‘Make-up which makes my skin light brown.. transparent, slightly shiny eyelids.. light-pink lips..’
My husband: ‘My dearest daughter, you were born like this. Anything else?’
Informative
This morning:
Me: ‘What do you have in your cup, tea?’
My husband (with patience): ‘Yes, it is tea. I am well aware that it might be mistaken for a urine sample, too, still it is camomile tea. ….True, it WILL become a urine sample pretty soon, and…’
Me: ‘Thank you. Honestly, all I wanted to ask you if you want a re-fill from the freshly made tea …but to receive a complete urological dissertation instead is way better than that, isn’t it..’
Ok, let that 2021 start, we are ready.
Hi 2021 darling
I am ready to start
It works
Yesterday my daughter (14) prepared a stress ball out of a balloon – and since she did not find flour, she replaced it with cocoa powder.
As she informed us, the stress ball is perfect in relieving stress – after which her papa asked ‘ok, but what stress you have around you?’.
5 minutes ago her papa prepared pancake – and immediately recognised in upset, that he has nothing to fill them with – as there is no more cocoa powder left.
So he took the stress ball and opened it in order to relive the stress – caused in him by the lack of cocoa powder..
Our daughter concluding it all:
“I’ve told you it works”.
Fishy
My husband: ‘Children, I’ve got some fish ready for breakfast. But watch out, fishbones are dangerous, eat it carefully!’
Our daughter (14): ‘Okay, why don’t we eat something else then?’
My husband: ‘Because fish is extremely healthy. Provided we survive.’
Ok, let that 2021 begin then.
For our mental hygiene
– sorry for the English speakers, one post exceptionally in Hungarian.. –
A minap becsönget hozzánk a szomszédasszony, kezében egy sor égőt lóbálva, aminek is köszönhetően az alábbi lélekemelő beszélgetésnek vagyok fültanúja:
Szomszédasszony: “…és tehát arra gondoltam, hogy az ünnepekre tekintettel mi is fénybe boríthatnánk itt az utcát úgy, hogy önök és a szembeszomszéd is keresztülvezeti ezt az égősort a levegőben kb emelet magasságban, nézze csak, pont mint mi..”
Házastársam (marcona kiállás, vallási ünnepek iránt mérsékelten fogékony lelkület):
“Remek ötletnek hangzik – egészen a következő villanyszámláig.”
Szomszédasszony: “Természetesen csak sötétedéskor kapcsoljuk fel! Ezekben a lelkileg nehéz időkben jót tenne mindannyiunk mentálhigiéniájának..”
Házastársam: “…valamint a globális felmelegedésnek..”
Szomszédasszony: “Nade milyen szép is lesz, amikor az embereket munkából hazajöve fényár fogadja..”
Házastársam: “Nekem úgy rémlik, Covid van, kb mindenki itthonról dolgozik.”
Szomszédasszony: “De mégiscsak karácsony meg az ünnepi hangulat..”
Házastársam: “Nem vagyok róla meggyőződve, hogy az ünnepi hangulat jegyében feltétlenül újabb szöget kellene vernünk bolygónk koporsójába.., de ha a szembeszomszéd benne van, én semmi jónak nem leszek elrontója.”
Szomszédasszony: “Tudtam én, hogy ilyen kedves ember maga, megyek is és intézkedem a szomszédnál!”
Így esett, hogy egy nap a szomszédig átívelő égősor került ablakunkba.
A romantika kedvelőinek:
A helyzetet végül a kukásautó oldotta meg, mely csütörtöki szokásos körén nemes egyszerűséggel magával vitte a teljes felszerelést fényárral, mentálhigiéniával..
Azóta házastársam ünnepi hangulata töretlen.
Piercing
My daughter (14) is currently getting dressed in big rush to leave home in order to meet her best friend.
The reason for the delay is that in the last 1 hour she and the same friend were on social media carefully discussing all details, among them that they should meet absolutely on time and so under no circumstances should they be late.
They finished the call 5 mins before the meeting itself.
Technology is a blessing.
And then Reality kicks in..
My children, approaching me with angel smiles on their face:
My daughter (14): ‘Mama, we saw today a cute little kitten on the street apparently totally alone and lonely.. Can we bring her home, mommy? We could keep her in the garden, we would take care of her… I’ve take a photo of her, look how cute she is, kitty kitty…’
Me: ‘Darling, we don’t have a garden.’
Her brother (10) (with quiet resignation): ‘I told you mama would notice..’
In a nutshell
My son (10) received homework for the holidays from school: he needs to investigate what his parents do for a living.
He: ‘Mama, what are you doing e.g. right now?’
Me: ‘At this moment I am drafting the meeting minutes of a committee.’
He: ‘What is a ‘committee’?’
Me: ‘When colleagues regularly meet to discuss issues they find important.’
He: ‘Let’s imagine that me and my best friend are superheroes who discuss every week who to rescue next time – are we a committee then?’
Me: ‘Absolutely.’
He: ‘Are you & your colleagues also in the superhero business?’
Me: ‘Kind of.’
Brave
Our son, Walter (10) about his 14-ye-old sister:
‘Haha, mama, Noëmi is afraid of spiders, hahahahaaaa, but why, how funny, spiders cannot hurt her! She is also afraid of all bugs and mosquitoes, but they are so small, hahahaaaaa..!’
Me: ‘Walter, seems not everybody is so brave as you..’
He (proudly): ‘Yes, I AM brave. Because it is stupid to be afraid of things that cannot hurt us. So the only things I am afraid of are vampires and walking skeletons..’
Suspicious
My husband after having watched Beauty and the Beast for the first time with the children as ‘Xmas movie’ at home, turning to me, with an unsatisfied look:
‘Did you like this movie??? I must say I find it so irrealistic when characters start to sing in a movie..’
Me (in a patient tone): ‘And in the present case which character could not truly convince you that it was really singing – the Prince who by magic had turned into a beast, or the candleholder speaking in a French accent..?’
Life..
..is better with
